Eat Metal!

I've always been great fan of metal.I hail from a typical hindu-newar family where music is quit diversed and important part of life.my dad didn't listen to metal.but i can still say that metal is in my blood.All the time of my life whenever i'm happy or sad metal gives me a support to express myself but basically its when i'm sad the most.i'm a pessimist and might be that’s the reason why i love metal.,I'm not an easy goin an d happy guy.there are not many troubles though in life to suffer for.but whenever i listen to metal i get a freedom that i can't explain.i get power to do things that i can't imagine.As i'm a metal fan its obvious for me to find and read or see things on metal.I've read and watched many but the one that moved me was "Metal-A headbanger's Journey" and "
Global Metal".Both of these are from a guy called Sam Dunn.He's a metal head.
The first one is quiet good which explain roots of metal and how it came to existence.The only thing i dint like in the first one is that interview with mayhem frontman and the thing Tom Araya of Slayer said.The question asked to him was "Why do you kept the name of the song as God Hates Us All?" And Tom was like "It sounded so cool"
WTF.He wrote a song that has so much meaning and its just because its cool?Impossible.i can't forget Slayer in Angel Of Death and Reign in Blood and the wave it created all over.But what was the answer by the Bands frontman?Seriously it hurted me a lot and was never expected from Slayer.But every other thing sounded like Metal.It was a movie of 2005 and its quite old but i recently got to watch it.
Then I got to see "Global Metal" tonight.And it moved me a lot.But here are more constructive criticisms then its likeness.Don't know whether Sam would have even time to review a mail by me which i'm definately going to write soon.In Global Metal the documentry starts smooth with Wacken festival end.He vastly explores metal in India,China,Indonesia,Dubai,Saudi Arabia and many more Asian and Middle eastern countries.And he happens to make this movie because of the mails from the fans and where it all came from.So he was retracing tham all.And it all shows gigs and how metal came in to existence.
Being a strong metal listener and fan and hailing from Nepal I was thinking to give a shout out to him long back but is was a to do.So this movie came and i was like.........................They showed India so much where metal is still so Taboo but not Nepal?In Kathmandu its so easy to trace metal that every youngster can give you a venue where a concert is going on every now and then.we have underground record label and we worship underground music.Our metal culture is very strong and am proud to be one of them.Everyweek now or then we have a gig.I can give you all bunch full of those gigsJust type these all in Youtube and you'll see what all Nepalimetal means:-
Show no mercy
Metal Tremore
Classroom Rockers
Feast of Blood
Yeah all these are some of the gigs that moved me and are those which i remembered while writing these.There are many of those left.If wanted only a whole movie can be shot on Metal in Nepal.However Ktmrocks seems to be interested in it which is releasing its video on Metal On Nepal on Youtube on Ktmrocks Stube.
If you want more of Nepali Metal then go to :www.ktmrocks.com it will feed you all.
Hope Sam Dunn reconsiders it and rethinks it put up a small part of Nepal too in Global Arena.This is not only my voice,this is the voice of all the Nepali metalheads visiting each gigi on MPC or Ex. army club or other venues.Metal has a whole loads of things to do with Nepal.

Just a bunch of nothing!

Just a bunch of nothing!
(Don't curse me after reading this as a complete waste of time)
So it was like the need of the hour.With scares of dark rumours and the contineous pressure of being something(state of pressure for not being nothing) this time is absolutely disturbed.The chaos and disturbia reminds me of something old or its just a Deja Vu don't know.This time is definately turning out to be cocky with letting me to do just nothing when i wanted to something.This is insane hour.This was a time when i had te be sad for being happy.But still nothing was going that wrong.
There has to be some need of that hour for people to do some activity.Activity is risen by some activity only.You cannot do something just because you want do it.There has to be its need.If your're doing so you are certainly a fool outta nowhere.We cannot underestimate or overestimate a task or activity also.It may just go off or blast.You never no.This entire blog looks like a insane cry of nowhere but its not so!Its a silent revolution.Who understand are immortal by me (JK).
I am in an unexplain able state.The state of me is best described as a infinite loop.It works but for no use.
Time went by and it passed too but with out a fuss this time.It just went by and I myself was too busy to understand and figure out that my business is measured by time only.I even don't realised for so long that i had a online diary of myself.Was busy in nothing but also was busy!There were countless things happening in and around.But i'm going to just mention some happenings which really counted.
The trip-
The trip costed and wasted a lot.The Trip was to the capital of India.If I mention the happenings there, then this blog probably would go to other end.But the trip on train,the hike to Jaipur and the place we stayed,the food we ate on the road,the Delhi momos,the Nepali Party everything was awesome really memorable.The trip elongated from 22nd june to 6th of july.The pics are there on facebook.BTW the comeback was also really memorable and is explainable to some extent.After all tiredness we planed to come back by 6th.Our train was all set to leave by 6 in the evening.We reached the station on time.Hardly found our seat coz our tickets were on RAC(Reservation After Cancellation).We got the place and we sat.but as the night deepend I came to the cold truth that i din't hae the full seat so had to share my sit with the other guy.It was horrible.The very next day we got a single sit for all three of us.Then co-incidentially we meet a nepali who offered us a 2 tier ac sit for three tier.We exchanged happily but later got screwed when TT fined us.After all those hardings we reached our second home Bangalore.Feelz great to be back.
The Vacation
My time after my trip and back to Bangalore was a complete vacation time with actually nothing to do for some 10 -12 days.Complete nothing,browsing till 5 in morning and waking up by 4 in the day and then the movie till night.It was fun which created a lot of mess later.
The Rush Days
The rush days were back as the college started.With 5 subjects and all major and the major addition math it is really dificult this time.Java is strted which is really happening.
The Bike days
Got myself a new(2nd hand) Avtiva which is almost new after a very narrow deal.Then went on destination less roaming for many days.Its hard saving money for petrol.
The joy and sad days
Then suddenly when I was browsing on my friends E-90 at around 9 in the night we came across our result.Its pretty good this time with 80.76% tile.It was a happy time but some freinds make marks as issue and the marks only became the separator so felt sad at the same time.
The current days
Left a friend for home till airport amid swinflu scare was a blod step.Currently days are ticking very fast.With many procastnation like courses to join on Java and many othere pending worls from writing notes to studying to buying stuffs to servicing of bike.Life now is a rambling .......

Just felt like writing!

You are a wet blanket!whats the use?cum to truth and bear the reality.this is life.life ain't same any more.I'm living amidst a lot of chaos.sometimes brain goes on such thoughts.insane place,insane behavior,insane people,that is why you are hated everywhere,now i knew.
I'M nt here to understand your portfolio or histry ,why i'm here is to spend ma time learning which i thought was not gud at my place.And after all I had different dreams for myself not this.The truth is I never even imagined in my dreams that I would be here.This was not my destination.But this is what life is I think.Wrong people caught on wrong place.
I don know much things.And the truth is that I don't speak much about the things i don't know coz here its other way round.And in my life I never said that I know everything or am proud of that.If I was of This attitude............I'm not like that.I prefer less attention.And it's the truth.And not a bunch of people over my back.I don't wanna be felt or herd.I don't know the taste of wine and hardly I drink for taste coz i'm not tat thinker too.People they say that I should understand the taste of wine before drinking',wot was tat?A statement provoking your own retardness.I ain't great .your are!
But you are copycat!I ain't!Think what people think about you!Because we are surrounded by them!I can't tell further!But you should change if you want something in life!Don't get inspired by people too much!Its clueless person who does that!But am still a kid!Not highly developed thinking power yo think like you!!!!!!LOL!!!!!!!!!!!DAMNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer!

This blog was an answer to a blog i read long back!Read this blog before mine:-
http://nepaliketi.wordpress.com/2008/07/
The answer to this blog begins here:
Hail Patroitism.And you cannot blame your father for not being Obama or Bin Laden for whatever reasons they are popular.This is how you were born.This is the world of being and when it comes to survival even a prostitute has to proud of her profession.This is life.This is reality.After all its about living at last.As the survival of fittest.
If you cannot be proud of the ineptness of your world within,you yourself should be blamed for it 1000's of times.At least if you cannot praise then don't hate it.You don't have a reason to hate it.
If you think Gurkhas and Everest were the thing that made Nepal a Nepal then sista you have not seen Nepal or you couldn't understand Nepal and the feeling within.Don't be proud of fake thoughts.Who forces?But at least be proud of true retardedness.You cannot leave your brother or sister just because she's inborn lunatic.That is why handicapped marathon is their .You need to grow with him/her.You need to learn a lesson from that too.Whatever is coming within me ,I'm not able to type now.Feels like insane somewhere in heart.Its also not a mistake that Albert Einstein was not born in Nepal.If he would have he would have been popular as though similarly.Country name wouldn't have killed him.But I see Einsteinism in every student that passess IOE exams(Literally not Practically).I see Jimi Hendrix in every gig I visit,be it Mahendra Police Club or Ex-Army Club.But finally tired of all those fake showoff.What we are we all know and we definately know our roots.I cannot see Switzerland in Nepal and its the truth.
I live in India. I’m here for studies. I’m like those 1000's of Nepalese who comes to India for studies. Everyday I have to come through several situations in which I feel like grinding people. Be it the morning newspaper when it describes my land as” one of the poorest country in Asia" to the small talks with colleagues of this place like "This place will take the world in coming ten years”. I am not jealous of what you are or hate you for what you are I just want NO COMMENTS. Hail everything. You live in your own World and I’ll be Happy with my world so cold.


And today happens to be Nepali new year too!
Happy new year to all ya!
Yo barsale sabaima khusi lyaos!
Naya Barsa Ko Subhakamana!

NOTHING 2 !!

Heart says fuck you to myself!Life is really difficult and the main difficulty again is the people around don't know how to judge every fucking body out here in this fucking hell.Why the fuck the world is so fucking difficult and why can't you be isolated.I'm no different man and i don't wanna be too.I just wanna be normal and stay normal.Doesn't want anyone while back home.
Back home its saturday , its holiday.And here it is working day!Tomorrow is break.So astonished by this too when there's nothing to be.Brain is not escaping this tranquil situation.Don't know which song to play and even which genre.Its a mixed emotion. Its like a happy song at the mourning.I missed everybody and everything and that is what I do most of the time these days.For some life is just dazed and confused kind of thing and for some its like always Romio and Juliet.I say them stop dreaming.
I don't want anybodies attention but its like antisocial.
Baffeled , dizzy , high , desperate ,sad , memories and people!I don't want to get either a compliment or a complaint . Be normal and make normal.And to those who thinks themselves as a saint or some kind of superman or superwoman , I don't have words to .....................................
All are like passive again.No mails ,No message and not even call.Heard they are busy.They were.Its very difficult to find a person of your interest in this world!Life is so complicated.Its more difficult then acting on a movie.People tend and pretend to be different. People behave diffrently. Only one "People" as a lover,poser,doper,assholes,seniors,juniors,boozers,pretenders,punks,wanna-be cobains,supermanz,toppers,saint and many more.One people and so many faces. Soits very difficult to understand them.Why you need understand them is because they interfere in our lives.Son don't interfere but you can help.Live life as no-one coz this is how you'll die one day.When to grow up.We need to.And again be normal,feel normal and do nothing.Be a king of yourself rather the slave of others.
LIFE IS ALL ABOUT NORMALITY!
The songs its banging my head now is:
Not the man I used to be. Cobain
This song is really addictive.
Listen at your own risk.

Comaback!

Life has always been Ramblings. Be it in the sense of being of no-one or some-one. And may be people treat this as a thing that completely creates no sense. Whatever you say or anybody says I am this! And I cannot change and I have not.
Its feels like decades that I’ve blogged last and through all these times I was inept.Coundn’t even know what all was going on within me !Travel to Nepal became a more havoc then pleasure (in many senses but many people will understand it wrongly).Things changed a lot and so do people.
The excitement started with the end of exam. It was the 1st time I was going to Nepal after I came here. Our 3rd semester exams got over by 10th of December.I was freaking happy that day but was a bit worried about the journey. I reached home by 17th since I stayed in Delhi at my fren’s place for few days.
Nepal now I have to say has been very dull and monotonous. Its my thought though. No environment to groove in. Days passed just like that sitting in home on dark hours with up to 16 hrs power cut a day which is getting extended to 18 hrs and eating home food. Every evening at dark hours we used to meet up at Sulav’s place have momo and stuffs listen to their music,talk about it and used to go out. Getting home was always late and the front gate used to get locked. Days passed in a flash. It was a sad time that I was leaving without meeting much people even aunt and hostel ko didi and even Navin solta.I couldn’t even meet those frens of mine which I promised.Thought life sucked that time. Came back to Bangalore and here we are. Everything is changed. Many things happened. The rush began. I shifted the apartment. Class started with rush. Then studies and tests. College home routine began. I had many blogs to put in But this space really needed a note why was I on such a long break without any information.

Long long way to go.Want to go Nepal every six months from now onwards but lets see. Don’t want to get shocked anymore.Many blogs will be rolling soon.Since here are much more complications with the connection too.Hope everything will be allright soon and the routine will be maintained.Sorry for such a long gap.

Nostalgia!

Its playing and playing and playing but the music remained like unheard.Its almost 8/9 months that the album is out.Yeah it may be unheard to most of you but am talking about "IN THY AMBIENCE OV MALEVOLENCE" the third album by Antim Grahan(ktm local metal band).I could not get hands on the original album but could get few songs of that album via youtube.Great works there.The promo of the album titled In Thy ambience Of malevolence I got it from kantipur fm site and the 2 other songs 300 and Infected II from youtube.Judging the whole album by only three songs would not be that justiciable but the entire hint of music can be guessed.Watched the pics of their latest dashain gig in ktmrocks site and missed that moment a lot.But definately Antim Grahan is shifting from it symphonic black metal genre to some other genre that i've not heard much.You can find the entire diffrence by listening Infected II only.Parash dai’s vocals are great and so did the symphonic keyboard but the beginning with the female vocals is not quite blended with the music.Ending is great too.But the song takes pick only at last.I guess they need more songs like Grey Mourning Kingdom and more albums like Tales From The Darkened Woods.If symphony will be removed from Antim Grahan then Antim Grahan will never remain like Antim Grahan.They will just be a a local band.
When I first wrote a blog titled "In Thy Ambience Ov Malevolence" late on march I thought that would be just a memory but it became more than that coz Antim Grahan themselves commented on that blog.I am having a widget(a simple online application which is regulated by other site) which records the visitors and how they came to my blog.I was very happy to see that most of the visitors came to my site through google search of "In Thy Ambience Ov Malevolence" or "Antim Grahan" and numerous of them were foreigners especially Denmark,Norway and Poland.So only Nepali guys are not headbanging listening to AG's I Guess and am very Happy about that.Yesirinai Nepali metal Faloos Fuloos and one day we'd be able to build our one genre called Pure Nepali Symphonic Metal.Hadn't heard long from Cruentus,Maya and other metallers these days.Vhumis are doing great listened there two new tracks named Bhariya and Shanta Mahatma.Their symphony and the new violin guy is great.May Nepali metal go ways this is what this Nepali heart says...Ktmrocks dashain theme is too great too.Can’t close this blog without praising there great pictures of the Dashain gig and the tag line which reads:
“KILL MORE GOATS EAT MORE MEAT DRINK MORE BEER…BE BLESSED”
Even if its passed but this is the way that Dashain should be celebrated. Happy Belated Dashain and Tihar
Current Play list:-
Its playing Grey Mourning Kingdom several times and Infected II
Lamb of god(All albums and songs)
And some more Nepali underground.
Nostalgia………………..
Wish I was there..

Sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pointlessness is not the theme of this blog.Definately its a long gap I take before I blog now.And

this time its the talks of money,life,music,Dashain,loneliness and the whim of myself getting lost somewhere.

Life was never money for me.But at some time I also came to realize that life is money sometimes.Life was never rich or poor.I always kept myself on the middle and never could get the thrill of both.Either top or down.So I became normal.But I can't disagree with the fact that I can live life in sainthood.I'm no more a saint.

Dashin 2008 in particular was a big comeback compared to previous Dashain's.Last Dashain I still remember the tensions within with no holidays and celebrations.I still remember myself blogging cursing the environment i was within.This time Dashain was in full spirit and so did the celebrations.Its was a good sunny day where we had a small get-together with tika talo.It was definately a very Nepali moment.Really a day full of nostalgia and thousands of memories to be carried.

Back home here now, LIFE has changed a lot.Life is no more college-home or friend-fun.It has become a bit serious now.Msn and ktm memories still haunts at midnight.But after all everybody says its life.Some are happy bein recruited for British Army,some for their I-pod nano curved,some for that girl,some for their grown strength and some are sad for nothing.Maybe the sad one will win at last coz at last he's to be sad for nothing.This is what life is actually.Life is not what we daily feel .Life is that lagging thing which we could not feel or we could not make others feel.Life is also not an love poem that always ends with tears or joy.Life is that which is in middle of that.Or maybe I can't just explain.

Music shifted a lot these days.Even there was a thrill that Death magnetic is released and its songs great but there remained a vacancy for something.Old classics remained always close to heart.Be it Khaseka tara by Albatross or be it Smoke on the water cover by Six feet under or savin me by Nickel back they rocked.And no more life songs and love songs coz it kills like cigarrette(don kno the spelling).No more Goo Goo Dolls......

If I could I would start this life over again and live it the way.And maybe everybody things in this way at some point of time.But these are all waste of time thinking to start over again and do this and that.Life is good how it is BTW and we can't make it nothing mattered and all contented.Life is liveable and happy for the king and begger.This is what thinking is.

This blog is dedicated to my those countable frens who still think life was hopeless and the past that made them make their life so.

There's a life within try to search it.And I know you all can be Happy.Its goes to all those who are here,back in country and to those abroadies who went there for good or bad but hope good.

Life is same and life was same.Its the only thinking that made the entire scenario changed now.

Something is definately changed.Or may be our thinking.This blog is the output of those motivations and sadness that I could feel with my very close friends nearby here,in home and abroad.To be more precise this was the output of the messages on Facebook n Orkut ,the instant chat on which I met my closest fren Bses of Bdesh,the outing after bunkin oops lab on Thursday and the talks we had and to be more and more precise the my way of thinking.Don't know why but be it India or Nepal or Bangladesh or States or UK or Australia or Germany or Denmark(and whereever i forgot to mention my frens are) sadness still haunts everybody.Life has always been a bitch.

This is how life has become till now.

Note:

(My current playlists include:-

300 cover by Antim grahan

In Love wid Suicide by Antim Grahan

Khase ka tara by Albatross

The day that never comes & Unforgiven III by Metallica

Aces High cover by Children Of Bodom

Smoke on the Water cover by Six Feet Under

Hey Lady by Led Zeppelin

Outside by Staind and Fred dust

Untitled(How could this happen to me) by Simple Plan

Show me How to LIVE by Audioslave)

You can imagine a scenario of my life now.

Thamel story.................................

May be for somebody or someelse, THAMEL is just a place with pashminas,marijuana,where kids beg with pride with a plastic and sniffing glue on it and can even enforce you to buy a piece of paper called newspaper,may be for somebody its just Himalayan Java or Bakery cafe and for somebody a place to flaunt like fire and ice or see pimps show their tricks or to somebody it may just be Tridevi Marg and the Thankas there..........but for me Thamel is the little Gallies within it and the small shops that made me realize my roots...........Thamel is also a small home for my friend who practices music daily on his small rented room hoping one day to create a music that he would be proud of..........Thamel for me is not just a passby or a way to Durbarmarg or Indrachowk or Ason.for me these places are my passby and Thamel is the ultimate destination.
Thamel is a small town located in the ktm valley which is much hyped due to tourist...As explained in thousand's of blogs Thamel is not the real Thamel...........Thamel is the place wherever I enter can feel the e sense of mix Hinduism and Buddhism and personal Nirvana.Thamel for me is about big big woolen hood ,two tailed caps,hemp purses ,handicrafts and the localities who are able to create a paradise within it.Search the things you would not find in Thamel.I bet you won't be able to find any.But from outside you'll see Thamel thats too empty......................
A walk on Thamel at Freezy nights .......................
I miss that a lottttttttttt.........
(will continue it.........)

Bored and the Killer status updates!!!!!

Hey its same damn boring time the mid-day which the skool calls itself the lunch break!Life became so monotonous these days with all guys far far away even from college.Feels like college days are over.Feels like the starting of fun is ending.
Sometimes things turns out worst itself.We don't have to try for it.Days are getting hotter and hotter and no sweaters college coz its India.So is the life with my frens.Their life too getting affected by this sickness of hotness.Their life is getting hotter.I lie somewhere on my own cold world which can't be heated and I think its better cold and chilling.
Lifes seems to be affected by many traumas and cancers (not mine).I'm getting weaker coz its lunch hour and I don't wanna eat too.
Classes are going like long long boring movies in between which i sleep and get up.Had to sit quietly in class coz jus now the internal papers are checked and if you speak more you are going to get busted by the teacher.Definately exams are not good.
Don't think me psycho I'm changing the topic completely.If you are among those 1 million who use facebook and the status update is one feature which I always love to see among my friends.Some of the status updates that really haunts me are:-
I can't include all but those which caught ma attention:-
A wrote- growin weak day by day___lol__!!
B wrote- is prayin n prayin n only prayin,,,,,.
C wrote-is don't know wts going on his life.
D wrote-is looking towards holidays after the mid week exams.
E wrote- doesn't want 2 think of exams nw.
F wrote-thinks god is cruel to him.whenever he thinks to hangout with the frens,the god puts something else to do by him
G wrote-(best one)-is struggling .Yes ,he knows that it's the struggle that the butterfly does to come out from the cocoon that gives it beautiful wings with 1000s of eyes in it.
F wrote-.....................................................

So whenever you think of these small updates and compares it with the actual persons at times its funny at times its real and at times heartbreaking.(LOL LOL LOL)
But for me its a complete time pass now.I look at the stats and thinks that make me sometimes happy sometimes sad.The bell is over but still i'm writing .Sorry for eating your valuable time.CIAO all with next blog.This blog a time pass!!!!!!!!!!!!!
\m/\m/\m/\m/\m/

"Samjhanaharu"

………………………………

May be the whole world around myself is making me this nostalgic. Topics on my mind right now-:

“College tomorrow”

“Wolfmother-Joker and the thief”

“ATM”

“Visual basic”

“Facebook and Hotmail”

“That girl”

“Mistake”

“Ragging”

“System restore”

“Concert”

“Converse-black and white”

“Dry meat”

“Kalopool Hostel”

“Sanjog,Sachin ra cyber”

“Dashian”

“Dada”

“Ghar”

May be you can’t really figure out what is this???These are the things that are haunting my brain these days.After a long break am back here but can’t really keep my mind stagnant to one thought only. Thinking like bursting out but can’t jot down the points. Feels like doing a magic…………But this is reality.

Wake up at 6.30,eggfried rice and tea,safa tempo,RNAC,walk till thapathali,5.30 final college bell, walk till newroad or baneswor,bijay and me coming back,Gahanapokhari,Cyber,Thamel. Sachina ra Sanjog sanga,taxi bill,Aunty ko dokan,Mam ra fooler…………..Those were days I really had life in.Days were days.

Days passed and so did people. Things changed and so do I.

NO ONE!!

Its the inner feeling that I can't explain or write or show,but it definitely feels insane.Do nothing,feel nothing,listen nobody and be no-one.Its the best feeling in the world.But if you never try you'll know.Life is empty now.If you still think pessimism rules me then listen, I don't wanna be an exhibitionist and neither a loser.Don't title me.I like myself untitled.Don't explore me I'm good unexplored.
What else could I explain when everything is going wrong.I wish I could turn back to those time I made decisions.Coming here was definately a bad decision.It hurts now.No-one around and sick minded people,so narrow and entangled.But all alone is how we are!Never thought would be in such a situation.Be in your country and live the life as much as you can."Bideshinu nai jivan ko lakshya nabanaunu" but whom i'm advising?The perfect no-body.When people used to speak about their love for the soil and country I used to think that its all bullshit but now i'm getting it a bit.Life is not the way we think.Its too complicated in life don't make it more complicated and sophisticated.Make it simple.And never be in other's world that's so cold.Anarchy rules.Rule yourself.But again whom i'm advising and its the same no-body here.
Had been visiting much more Nepal related sites and searching the videos relating Nepal and of course Nepali metal.Good to see such a big Nepali crowd today in blogging world and you tube.The young responses of young Nepalese on videos relating Nepal definitely made me happy and made me write these words too.Keep it up Nepali guys in you tube.All doing great job.
Looking forward for Nepaltube.com.What do you think webmasters of Nepal?Love to the country can be seen in videos like Hamro Nepal featured by a young Nepali.And read the comments on it,you'll love it.Happy to see a world created like this.Happy to be at least proud of being something.I think you got it by now.Still not even crossed half of the life(who knows may be counting last days)but also got many happenings in life.Still life rocks.
"GO BACK" sometimes the life says and sometimes it says why running away of challenge.I'm in complete dilemma(don't know the spelling) coz i'm so sick of everything.Lost somewhere in this world of nothing and nobody.Don't know what i'm scrambling now too.
And to no-body:
Don't showoff too much or pretend.I know you and the world knows you.You are capable of only one thing and that's nothing and i'm not mistaken this time.You suck and its true.If you're testing my patience you'll die to see me taking the 1st step.Don't take it as a warning its a advice and in the coming days don't mess with me coz I love myself unexplored.Do things normally and you'll be normal.What you think of yourself?If you still think i'm wrong no-one can rescue you!Do as you like and fuck your life.And as always these all warnings and advises are also for complete NO-BODY.


EVERYTHING WRITTEN ABOVE IS JUST MY WAY OF THINKING.ITS INDICATED TO NOBODY AND NO WORDS SHOULD INTERFERE ANYBODY.THE BLOG BTW IS ALSO A COMPLETE NOTHING.IF I'VE WASTED YOUR TIME ON THIS READING SORRY FOR THAT.NEXT TIME MAY BE I'LL BE OUT WITH A KNOWLEDGE FULL WRITING.BUT THIS TIME I'M REALLY REGRETTING..................................................................................

This time on Mysore!!

Finally we planned and made the trip to Mysore a dream come true.Hadn't finished the semester exams though but we couldn't wait for this golden opportunity.I'm on Mysore now and I reached just now.Found a cyber so thought why not a live blogging.And its here.We came by train and today i knew traveling by train is also not that bad.
We left the house at 6 in the morning and reached the train station by 7 am.We got the tickets for 22 bucks which was so cheap that......but at last we found the ticket was of general class with no fixed sit and timings.Then we plan to catch a next train.We sat on the station thinking but suddenly we all made a decision to enter the train without the ticket.All were ready to pay the consequences.The train started and we were moving but after about half an hour train ticket checker popularly called as T.T came to our place.Now what to do???????We thought we'r like gone now.He threatened and told us that we should pay a fine of almost 1500 INR.But at last we made the deal at 552 INR.We payed saw each others face an then continued the journey.The way had mountains which made me remember me going back to chitwan from ktm.We reached now.Then we sat on a cafe named Green Court and had coffee and dosa(popular South Indian Roti like dish).And we went to our friend Masti's place.By 5 in the evening we'r moving to his farmhouse.Hope it we'll be great and in future days we'r planning Mysore zoo,palace and many more.Lets see how the trip will go but now only its sounding too interesting and gidi.................................................................
And by the way Cyber cafe rates are very low in Mysore.Its 12INR per hour.
Hop[e to have lots of fun.

ca elections and me!

What would you have thought about the CA elections which just got over? That country’s citizens(I’m also a Nepali) who are just beginning to start pouring there thought by blogging ,that country’s citizens who has just shaped the future of the country only in heart (in reality its far more far) and that countries citizen who jus saw the devilish part of that show that is promising to make the end of that movie “HAPPY ENDING”. Don’t know why things are like this and I can’t help it too. I’m inept. I’m numb despite being sober………………

I even don’t know the real fact of “SAMBIDHAN SABHA”.Heard it somewhere and always took it lightely.But hope it’s good and better for the country. I didn’t even vote or have voted till date. It’s my dignity or lack of opportunity only god knows.”How’s Nepal now?” is the question uttered everywhere then and now and I’ve to say its okay now over there.Till when it’ll last and still prevailing or not nobody knows. But definitely I’m helpless, clueless and fact less on this fact.

Read an article that that day on elections on nepalnews.com headed “One Day On A Decade” which translation is done from writing by Gopal Prasad Rimal named “Ek Jug Ma Ek Din”.Got too happy and nostalgic too after reading it.

Next day same column,same site a news headed”Clouds Of Uncertanity On Nepal’s Historical Fate”(don kno the actual heading but it sounded just like this).Then I started thinking.But what more could my clueless brain think of.Till now I’ve been thinking but no solution or nothing I can do for its betterment.I’m not a bad citizen.I always think good of my nation Nepal.Proud to be a Nepali but still there’s nothing I can do and I too know that thinking and writing blogs only would no way help the situation. I’m a traitor then.What you think?????????????????

Calling all NASS 2060 SLC batchmates!!!!!!!!!!

(NASS)Ma school where learned to dream and realized that I should also dream.Where my life changed its track.Where I met ma sister in law(LOL).Where I have memories that can never be dumped away.Miss you guys.I miss you a lot.If I could return anything back on time that would be the time I had over there.If you wanna mark your presence as a NASS student just put a comment in this blog.Calling all EX-NASS 2060 B.S SLC batch mates for reunification through this blog.I'll try ma best to write everybodie's name of that batch but if I miss anyone it'll be a.......................
STATUS KNOWN
Me-BCA,Bangalore
MY sister in law-BBA 4th sem
uni-I know but don wanna mention
Binay-Business studies in Denmark
Mukesh-CA,Delhi
Sanjog-Nursing,USA
OHM-Business studies in Australia
Prakash-B.sc.(Tribhuwan University nepal) edited(in us pursuing software engineering)(by mail)
Naren-Computer Engineering in Lalitpur
Dipesh-still in contacj but don kno what he's actually doing
Heman-Business studies in Nepal
Kedar-Business studies in Australia
Raj-May be Autralia or Nepal(I know he applies for the visa)(edited in us now...)
Sita-Pursuing nursing
Raj silwal-Pursuing B.sc in Nepal
Subash-same
Rajan-Into tourist Business
STATUS UNKNOWN
Kamal(Feel very sorry about u yar)
Gautam(edited-doing some computer course on chitwan as puja told)
Sarita
Mahendra
Durga
(Where are you guys lost ??????????)
Do keep in touch!
If I've missed anyone pls do inform me by mail or through comment.I'll add the name that very moment.
(EDITED)
sorry!!!!!!!!!
Puruswottom-status unknown.....
Even though Puja and Kiran weren't on Nasa they became one integral part of Nass so can't close this blog without mentioning you both!!!!!!!

LONG LIVE XAVIERIAN CULTURE!

Hello!Sanchai chau?Were the first word I said when she said hello back to me.How are you doing?I said.She is probably the friend of mine who is too close to AD my friend.Being a Nepali and the girl also Nepali,he gave me the phone to talk to her and the conversation started.She's not from Nepal.She's from Sikkim I guess.Then immediately the topic changed and she suddenly asked me which school I am from.I said St. Xavier's, Maitighar.Then she said you know anyone named Sneha Shrestha.I never heard that name and caste together as per my memory I said staraigth no.She said why and again I said it would be better to meet any one over here from and especially from Xavier's.Then I gave the cell to my friend.The conversation was over by then but the conversation made me realize slowly my times I had when I was in Xavier's.

To meet again anyone here as a Xavierien would be a great experience here in India.Back home when I went to a consultancy for study abroad then the proprieter said I'm Xavier's Maitighar 1948 bs batch then we came close and later we became good frens.It is the spirit Xavierians have.I remember each and every moment I had in Xavier's.Studying and getting very low percentage had become the trend of Xavierians.I dont know how is Xavier's now but the time when we had our days over there it was really good.Miss those teachers and good good frens.The sit arrangement system and HT the HOD of biology group.How can we ever forget him??

Where are all my frens now of Xavier's.I couldn't join the GAA(Godavari Alumuni Association)as I was busy applying abroad and coming over here to Bangalore.So no one ever I 've meet except some who are really good frens.I saw some of their pics on Kantipur daily long back when they had topped the list of IOM(Institute of Medicine).Then never saw them and heard from them.I sometimes wonder where I am compared to them.Them I get afraid myself to get the result of the comparision coz i've reached no-where....................

I remember the moral value classes we used to have and those Lord movies they showed us.Welcome to our juniors was awesome.Never went to farewell how they did it. Hadn't collected the year book too.

1^st year results, project on orphanage, never getting signed on botany practicals,HT’s fish culture classes ,violating sit arrangements, the regular corridor junction of ours and two lovebirds disturbing us there, physics practical, only toppers, rush for the momo on canteen, miss fresher, peeping on bsw’s chicks, and memories and memories……………………………………………….

Is what I have now!!!!

I can never forget the programs I conducted on Xavier's.Be it frenship day or womens day we every time had a celebration on Xavier's.The exhibition by Environment social and cultural society was also good and we participated and presented a project on Condition Of Orphanage Around The Valley which made a bit of news(LOL).The program on Wartrin memorial hall above the library(I don't remember the occasion though it was either Xavier,s day or st, egnatius day) is fresh on my memory till now.That day Nirmal Shrestha our physical chemistry teacher was on stage to conclude the program.Father Augustine was also in the front row and Nirmal sir started. These were the concluding word.He went up and started singing:

"If somebody asks you who are you..

you can proudly say that we are Xavierians...

then still if he asks you who are you?

you can again proudly say that we are xavierians

and then still if he asks you who are you? Then .......

tell him we are Xavierians............

And Still if he asks you who are you?the then '

tell him you are deaf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Proud to be a part of St. Xavier's Maitighar!

In Thy Ambience Ov Malevolence

In Thy Ambience Ov Malevolence
This blog is completely dedicated to the sad demise of my desire of listening to the latest album by Antim Grahan(ktm underground local metal band) In Thy Ambience Ov Malevolence.................
Why the hell I’m here? I do sometimes think. So faraway from my kinda life, my kinda feelings. No one to take care.If I was back in Nepal I would have got this album at recent but here it almost is impossible i guess.I'm living amid not much metal lovers so that also make my desire to listen the latest by Antim Grahan just a desire.
All of a sudden while I was browsing through the ktmrocks.com I found the album cover and the link for the promo but sadly it didn't work out :( the link was broken.The last two albums by Antim Grahan, Forever winter and Tales from the darkened wood definately made a great name and fame of their in the valley on underground metal scene.Those two albums were masterpiece in Nepal's metal music history.Songs like Forever winter,Lords of sorrow and misery and Angels Eternally burnt were the symponies that really sounded like the black spells. I Especially being a melodic black metal fan Antim Grahan is the only substitute in Nepal.Their latest album In Thy Ambience Ov Malevolence is also great I hope.
The forums on ktmrocks had been discussing a lot about this topic so I am more and more keen towards hearing this album as soon as possible.Many forums posters and the members of the forums of ktmrocks.com have put on their view with some lyrics too.So looking at the lyrics only the songs seems to be too gud.
When the hell i'll be playing these songs no one knows!!!!!But please someone give a correct links for at least the promos of the songs.I want it badly.Long live Antim Grahan..................................
someone please come form Nepal taking this album..................................................................
Lookng forward to listening the album and writing a review on it.Antim Grahan rules......................
pAiNtHYGrAvE

Learned how to live!!!!!!!!(college ka gaff haru)

Life is a bit live able now. And many factors are there supporting that. I have to say that I’ve learned to live my life here. But am still planning for a credit transfer to states if possible on my same course. What more to describe first of all am finding our boring college a bit interesting and our hopeless hostel live able.Thanx to Suraj aka AD ,Bhawana aka sano bhaini,Sandeep aka sandy,VIkram,Tudip,Sashi,Vnoy,Tavish aka Vickey,Saukatt,Felix and all back bencher guys. Sorry if I’ve missed any one of you.
Now let me describe my day from morning so that it will be more elaborate.(I’m again addicted to a habit of texting by Bhawana that sanu baini from Sikkim like my little sister Maya).We always keep chating.Suraj aka AD,Me and Bhawana.When ever I feel homesick and wanna have some Nepali words I text either AD or Bhanwana.(The relation between them is still unknown).
My Nepali community in college is fixed to three of us and that was the only reason that made me write this blog.Doesn’t quite have a pic of ours to post in this blog now.Bhanwana even brought a kinda sweet(Titaura or Paun in nepali) for me from Sikkim as Sikkim’s specialty but sadly it turned out to be from that same Ratnapark pau Bhandar Kathmandu Nepal LOL.(Bwana don’t get disappointed on that hai).Our Nepali community is strange because I’m the only member from Nepal on that. Both Suraj ad and Bhawana are from North East India.(They are Nepali only).
I’ll describe about the personality of both hai.Ad is a gud guy except his Taoism things sometimes irritates me.If he was in Nepal,I’m sure that he would have been in a local Nepali rock or metal band.He plays guitar well.Bwana is also a gud gurl came to Bangalore for realizing her dreams and even got her AB(her boyfriend) and they were connected through HI5.HI5 is in blood of Nepali guys and gals. but Its old now. Use Facebook its far more better.She’s like my parent over here.She’s also like Puja of our group a playful gal at school.For every gud and bad things she awares and make me realize its importance or harm.(How can I thank you?)Monday bhetera kura garaula hai?
By this time all guys must be angry to me thinking that only AD’s and Bhawana’s description.Where’s ours?
Sandy sorry yaar I’ve a blog pending on you but I’m sure I’l complete oneday(someday) .Sandip hows Sandcruz????????I know you are like lost????He also has always been there and is not less than my Nepali friends back home.Tavish dude sssssssss up metal brother?(May ur relation get better with k……..)How can I forget you and YO YO Felix Broda you’re even there always for my help.Sashi how are you?Vikram hi how’re days going?Saukatt when are you making me travel Kerela?
Enough of those gaff gaffs hai.Now I’m a bit serious. Serious about everything. How can I forget Sanjog and Sachin out there now also assisting me to come to states through credit transfer? Trying on that yaar…………………………………………………….
Seriously I’m planning to go to states for my course not only because it’s a good study hub but also because my all-time friends are there. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have any friends over here. I’m describing that only now. Life is live able. Thank you all guys and gals for your hope and support. I can never forget you all in my lifetime. So any of you know about credit transfer from Indian university to American university.Plz PLz PLz give a call. I am trying to get that.After all now I wanna spend time over here only I’m planning for this step for credit transfer.(Hadn’t asked with my parents well though!)Germany visa rejection still lefts me shocked when I think about that.Don’t Know what I’ll do now………………………But one thing I want to admit Bangalore is not that bad as I described in previous blogs.Life is a bit liveable.Missing you all back home too. No offence to anybody hai.If the words on my blogs hurt any one can directly put a comment on that.Nowdays I even find happiness in small things.This is how I am.

AND THE MEMORY REMAINS(2007)!!!!!

Now I’m on transformation period. Its 11.45 here in Bangalore India(+5:30 GMT).I’m on my bed with pen and paper remembering the good old days I had in 2007.The misfortunes to achievements, the failures to the decisions that made me touch t he sky on 2007.Every good and bad things happened to me on 2007.I’ll try to remember all those golden and worst moment and try to jot it down here. If I had to say what 2007 gave me and what 2007 had taken from me it took much of my things than giving me anything more……………………….
Now, going back to history if I remember my previous new year and suppose it from Last Christmas I had a blast that time. I have to definitely mention the random party that all of us attended at Mahendra Police club and if I remember properly the party was from partyanimalz.We almost at 11pm entered the party after we couldn’t celebrate as we wanted in one of our friends home. And till 1 p.m we tapping our feets on the bits of local DJ’S playing songs like last Christmas and smells like teen spirit on DJ mix……..Then at 1’o clock we thought its time to go home, but nobody was allowed at home at this hour. We were 5 guys and 3 gals. Then at the same time one of our friends Prajwal aka Chau(dont get angry on that hai)came with an idea of going to his home and spending the night and popping out early in the morning. How can I forget Chau for that???Then we all went to his home tried to sleep with hopeless halogen heaters and few blankets. It was chilling that time. Then so that no one would find out, we woke up at 5 in the morning and popped out as planned from Chau’s home.I had to thank Santosh(Mata) and Ricky(mote) for chatting with me whole night .Then the next day we planned everything at morning itself. The next day we planned to ride the whole valley in evening. We met up at our usual junction Gahanapokhari at 7 and went out.We roamed the whole Thamel first then we went to Basantapur and sat by the side of one temple on its steps.There some of my friends doped then we enjoyed the street sassuages and momos of Basantapur and we came back again to Gahanapokhari.Sat with Bhim dai(our very near and dear dai) and boozed a bit.In the inset is the picture of that memorable day with only some of the guys.
2007 was like a summer for me sometimes sunny and sometimes very windy……………………
If I had to speak about the heart attacks I got in 2007 it was my ISC result .It was definitely very bad. And how can I forget that? Same year I even had to struggle the BPKHIS medical entrance test. Then the most disappointing thing for me and my family. My brothers and mine visa got rejected. Then 2007 only gave me the sudden decision to come to Bangalore (for fruitful fate or worthless future)and made me change my mind from BDS\Bsc. Biotech( thank I don’t joined that) to computer applications(very happy with this).Now my mind is only playing the song of Metallica.It goes as:
Life it seems to fade away
Drifting further everyday
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
Now I don’t have the will to live
Need an end to set me free…..
…………………………
……………
forgot some lyrics………..
This song happens to be my all-time favorite.
The fest we had in our language center that’s Goethe Zentrum Thapathali Kathmandu happens to be one of the most memorable and talked about stuff I had in 2007.(Loads of fun with Sudeep,didis,Michael sir ,Ram sir,canteen ko dai ).We prepared Syalpo(big momo),Newari set,cold coffee and stick foods.All the food were bought from outside but still our group won the Goethe food and cultural fest.
Hope 2008 brings happiness to me and you all.This years resolution…………………..
(Actually I wrote this blog on 31st December 2007 and 11:45 pm sharp. But as I was waiting for my Laptop to arrive and wantes to post the blog of 2008 by my own laptop it got a bit late.So this happens to be my first blog through my Dell Inspiron 1420 and co-incidentally my first blog of 2008.HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008)

PSYcho THOUGHTS#

Hated thy love!
Loved thy hate!
WHat an addiction I'm prone to!
Sadness kills.I'm noy spared.
Shattered back to where I started.
I'm Imperfect!
Deadify your soul,then you can understand what this world is!
No love!No peace,All hatred.
I'm sent to this world to find peace among the rotting corpse.
Hate me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dark sarcasm building roots!
May be because death is certain life is not!
Fear of life not death!!!!!
Who loved loneliness?who loved hate???
THis is what the world taught me............
A soul full of vengeance!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've not lost the race.
and I'll not quit.....



Note~I'm not turning psycho hai first of all.I just felt like wriring it long time ago when I first listened to Antim Grahan songs(local ktm black metal band).A bit of feelings hai.Here goes a very soulful extract from the lyrics of antim grahan.
As I wep my tears they burn,there shall be no more dawn.....
Ethernal darkness now for ever,I'm spirit living in this curse.
In thy world of Insanity,I live on the edge.And angels eternally thy burn.
(never thought this would be a post one day)
.................................................................................