Monday, October 1, 2012

Consolation !

Hasn't been writing for long! Things got entangled and i got lost in the so called maze called life , which i never thought i would!
It was a like a month ago when i realized things are not that easy as we thought when time passes!Can't i still again be that xaviers going , basantapur roaming kid , my inner voice itself said "Fuck NO"
Ya since then i have been realising this is life.I am post graduating by the mid next year however i have almost compelted my theory classes.We never go beyond the thinking of our lives being completely affected by a thing called career.
But i guess i completely do now and i call it adolescense at 24 haha!
Might be i have learnt now how to appreciate "god of small things" .We were never that way !
Young energy to take over the world shatters there however this is definately not a consolation blog , i somehow manage to get these thought during my final tests ! This is my second last test i'm giving bfore my post graduation then this is it . Life would go some where its destined but i hope my life should not only be driven by destiny . Some call this fool , i call it believing in myself . Why not a consolation to self when you have all the fucking time on earth to tell others ya things will be alright , ya you ll do it , ya time will come ! We get inspired by many things but the saddest thing is when these inspiration just lack confidance !
Life should not suck ! Hope so !
Amigos !

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Bengaloored !

It was a fine day till round 7 pm i got an email from my home ! Come on skype soon ! My nephew (bhanja) emailed me!people are fotunately worried bout me ! I suddenly went online ! They strted with a thing why wont i pick up call but answer all tweets and email ! I am that way but the insider is i hve no cell tower at ma room and people mistake it for my many bad habits ! When at sometime before i was completely happy sein those YouTube Nepali Short movies but m kinda scared now ! Its now 12.05 am 17th august here in bangalore india and all i can hear now is the calls and sms's of the paniked voice of the north easterners who are bein a prey of a rumoured communal violence !
Nobody knows whats the cause , who started it or when its happening ! But
People are way too panicked just like that ! Some body tells me like they hv heard 2 nepalis bein killed nearby !
Somebody tells me the same version with the nationality changed they say they were assamise ! Some other even changed location and no ! But all have heard all these ! Why nobody Saw ????
When we were even having fun pranking in the skype (my small nepali community - ruben dai , anup dai , subash dai and babita and sabeena bhauju's ) i was being pessimist!Now i feel really like what if there will be communal violence ! It hasnt been long since i saw the documentary about the communal violence in gujarat ! It really is a nasty game ! There hasnt so far been any violence reported in Bangalore!
If this is false then there will always be a group called oppurtunitist who can take advantage of the situation to make the situation to worst ! Though after constantly hearing about this for like 20/30 times now i from inside is also a bit scared for this thing but Bangalore has never been so bad that it would banish us Nepalese or north Easters !
I really hope this to end fast and rules and regulation be imposed in Bangalore ! Security measures in case it happens should be started ! I hope to get back to that Bangalore where we roared the roads even 12 am at night and feel how breezy it is ! I hope to complete my masters soon without any chaos running !
There are lot many tensions in life !
Do concentrate on those rather than spreading the fake message of supressing the outsiders - message to the initiators !

Friday, September 9, 2011

Fakeness !

It has really been long since i last blogged.You know life's getting hasty with age.I guess its the lesson of time that it teaches to every freakin youngster.
Some month ago at round may i was so shocked by the gift i got for my birthday.It was a packed fakeness that needed no explanation. It came as a storm and took away my life by force . Since then i've learnt life's not that easy. The problem with us is we just think a lot bout our belongings than ourselves.At that time I wanted to blog a lot but again I thought I would splatter my anger so bad that I would hate myself later.In this world being true is not just being loyal.I guess you have to have that supernatural skill to know what's going on on others mind.Life's not a bitch , its just that we tend to make it whore ourselves *a big lesson learned*
What would you do when you are stranded half way on a war where retreat is not an option ?
Ya thats where I'v reached. I won't even be delighted to fight back nor to give up with words.
These were too life thoughts haha .
I'm starting a travalogue soon.Or a tech blog.
Had grown up so showing this blog to all would be like opening a class 10 diary and checking out that class crush.
All we have is nothing at end.
Wrote while plugging earphones and playing Everybody must get stoned by Black Crows !
# JainNepal

Monday, June 13, 2011

Rastriyeta!

Just got to watch some of the short movies by my frens who are abroad !
They had a very good message within the movie ! The only hope of the nation the youths to be back to their motherland!It kept me in a deep thought that what really is going to future hold for nepal where for youth politics is always a dirty game untouched , where living means without comforts of electricity and roads are emblem of protests , fuel is a rare case and normality in living is abnormality !
Kathmandu , a city in quest , a city in conjunction with the modern living living where people think a lot deliver less and get very very less ! Infact a land of silent And migrated Che Gueveras ! Really kathmandu needs you all !
You all need to come back for the country !
You know you won't get iphones for $299 , 24hrs uninteruppted electricity, a honda civic for $4000 and a straight forward rantless life , but still you were a nepali !
Now its your choice to be you are or not !
But think twice and decide!Nepal needs you!If we start at least our sons and daughters are definately going to get these comforts ! Leve the self love , self comfort !
All i can do is plead ! Hope we ll meet in Nepal !
This goes out to all my friends , brothers , sisters who forcibly or due to cause or due to interest are out of the country !

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A Note Of Failure !

When success lures you , you don't have any option other than to just stick to the sweet pain of success !
But wish you had understood that "All Shall Fall ! " Even the saints , even the in-no-saints ! You succeed because somebody else has failed and yes you are responsible for it one way or the other ! Life is complicated in its own way , don't just blurr it with the fake emotions of spirituality ! Its a materialistic world and do be reminded again "All Shall Fall " !
Peace
Happy Buddha-Jayanthi !

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Obituary to desires !

Sometime you just can move with the pace of time or you are forced to do so!
nowdays i blog less bout physical things then psychological things its coz the chamge that i m going thru.I'm learning things are not the way we think it
should be or we imagine it would go on.When it comes to reality even a small thing in mind entangles you to a thought that can lead you either to give up or to just let the things escape coz you think you have lost a lot and now you dont have anything worth losing !So that was the introduction to what the mind is thinking right now!Ya its tired blurred and dead of a same thinking of a blant life ,career , money and family!This is not life what i ought and sought to live.Dunno when it gonna be like when everything will seem to be good to live a life !It will never i guess coz life is an ecology of imperfections and we as a player of it try to make it perfect.
This blog marks the obituary of ma old life.I have to grow up and its not mandatory.Hope life remains beautiful for a cause from now onwards!
Good bye OLD ME!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Melancholy of desire !

The background was with the tunes of Monkey Temple - Bachau Sanghai , and inside the mind were thoughts of some very entangling emotions . The time when you don't know what exactly should be the appropriate reaction or thought . Basically a rambling that leads you to nowhere . The song moves on , ... , says "Aja mero mrityu katai malai nai parkhadai cha .. " and suddenly a chat pops out from a person that looks a bit blur in memory . It first reads just a few minute of yours and it continues . I hear woes there , I hear depression , I hear the hate of life there . and i lie helpless here at the other communicating end . What would i even deliver , When life itself has done such a partiality on the other part , a sheer injustice . Why won't life come with with the list of ingredients so that we can prior decide either we want to get expired or live through out .
The chat continues and with the night gettin colder and darker the conversatjon thickens . It travels through all that tough times when even typing a word was becomes like taking a political decision . The person at the other end surrenders . 
Am noone to give him justice but i can't console too . With this i realise what a pain is life . It never was beautiful . And suddenly i realise all the times when we thought our life is so beautiful , it was a time getting along for the time to ckme which is going yo bring much more trouble . Life aint easy .
Even thought the messenger reads m online , i'm already half dead i side . I'm not able to answer and it leaves me thinking .      

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

GOA!


It has been long thoughts begin to flow.Might be because the mind is not free or might be because the mind is too occupied.Most of the things passed away with time.I was not able to regularize my self in this state. Mind is not at a place now.Its the state in which its inept with too many things.Its numb this way.Might be its the way it shows puberty.But whatever its insane for the thrust of something that I've been searchin for,for long.

It came down with a surprise when the exams of mine (final sem) finally came suddenly.Nobody was ready coz everybodies mind was already fuked by the project we've to submit in the university and the college adding spices to it put restrictions.And right after that the buzz came.The time of my life infact ;p!
The dream me and my frens dreamt of some years on a small room on the streets of Delhi.It seems to be impossible for us but the day was there.I coudn't believe they were here so far away in Bangalore.
We headed coz we knew the journey was set someday.And the someday was that day.When arrived the first day Goa was much of just that sun,countable hppies , some booze and the sleep which was originated by the booze.Finally when we decided something has to be done to kill this hallucination of boredom , it was me and Nissan who took up our mobiles and googled for something thats morof a silent and psychedelic beach.We were not sure wheather to move to Palolem (80 km South Goa) or to Vagator (which was also far).The next day we had a strong determination that Palolem had the right content to us. The bus journey was ok but could have been better since some hippies opened up too much on a bus which was more of crowded by the locals of Goa.It wasn't the need of time.We felt that was Goa. Poor us.
Crossing several mountains and jungles there we came to Palolem (paradise).As we reached first day itself we found a cheap accomodation and to our surprise hell lot of foreigners and hippies on that beach.We thougt it was the right place and we were not wrong either.The beach cafe , the music , the sound of waves , neptune point, the low network chat wid ma swithart rite frm the beach, the making of ... on the open beach,stroling till 3 am, i getting afraid theres a quicksand,geting high at times, the shark BBQ , the millioniars daughter,Nissans WTF and French connection,Prajwal's dhikka,Moneesh's Chealsea shirt,Havana/round cube restro,Mukesh's ATM , Tavish's swiming lessons(he was bad though) , new shoe and the killer cheap breakfast.Goa is really a place to be . Somebody said it right "Goa is not a place , its a state of mind".
It has been our dream now to go to Trance party there in Goa to feel the beat of Goa vibes.Goa is amazing.Its a place to be.The return was also memorable as we got raided by cops and he was like "Fenny is Liquid bomb in Karnataka".I laugh at that moments now but however it was me there.
Finally we reached Bangalore.
It really dint got over.I could hear waves back home too. Had I gone insane?Ya kinda I gues!
Our minds were badly stuck on :-
Handlebars-Flobots(i can make nebody go to prison,jus because i dont like him)
Psycho Killer-Talking Heads(psycho killer ecstacy fafafafafafafa farr better Run run run run run run awayaaaaaaa)(as we heard which is completely wrong)(We grooved in this song for like weeks crazy)
Sideways-Citizen Cope (these feelings wont go away,they'b knocking me sideways)
We gt kicked.I could see these songs on ma dream.It took long to recover.
Goa rocks!
Goa is psychedelic man!

Friday, April 30, 2010

For da deserved!!

It's not the typical situation to be blogged.However i' ve blogged in manier situation like this too.It's a moment of complete transition from a boy to a man.Definately there are factors that makes me feel that I have to change.The things running under my brain is really a fuzz.It has whole lotta meanin meaning and am so dumb that am not able to figure it out proply.


Before February 2010 life was almost lost and badly affected with the feeling of being nothing and dark dark sadism.However now it has been reduced hugely.I don't think about myself as a crap these days.But am I really worth something??Or maybe it's the only who that you realize??But whatever really thank you for being there.Life would have been miserable as always if you weren't there.I don't mean to say that you were not there before,Of course you were but there was no consistency.Now it feels stronger ,a will to do something and achieve something someday.
It's definately an odd time I blog now.It's 8 here an am almost half awake but also felt like writing something for someone.Creates an eternal happiness that cannot be explained.So feels like life has started growing old with me.But this ageing doesn't always made me old.It revoked da feelings that I Neva had which I should have felt even earlier.Really can't explain how to thank you for all the happiness and love and support.Had really been optimist and is suceeding on things coz ov da support.
Neways jus wana say on this cool beezy morning that I Gina b there olways wteva situation be it.I have thought a lot ab
out it and it really makes me happy .Be there as the way you have been and really thank you for everything .


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, February 5, 2010

HATE eternal!!

I herd those many times!damn!renunciation nd stufs I tried long back !
now I dunno what's creeping in!insanity in vanity?nothing helps!you ll
get nothing at last!not even eternal peace!just only straight death
for nothing!A martyr ov no country!so wats it's worth????
If it has a start it also had an end!if you're starting to be happy
then it has an end too!it's eternal suffering everywhere that matters
not happiness!It depends upon people to people how much they can
withstand the suffering!some lie unconscious in the battle helpless
some jus fight back as a warrior even though they know there's no
credit for it!All are helpless and is sick of all these helplessness !
Whatever life is to be lived or might be it is to be suffered?
The answer lies nowhere!So might be Lord Buddha also learnt at last
that there's no world without suffering and pain!There's even supreme
pain in happiness!That is called tears ov happiness!Do or die is not
the saying anymore it's die or die!However death is certain!These many
years also life showed so many aspects ov people that it's hard to evn
believe in dreams to be immortal!Who wants immortality with this
worldly suffering?May be you're lured bro I'm not at all!
I've grown in a lot of hatred,humiliations,devastations and falling
please I can't anymore!Fallen.....or Dragged......??????
Might be it's a trap that I've fallen into ov physical things and
worldly features like lust and love !Definately i was not this kind
before!Heard the world ruins everybody and might be me!Don't want this
me with all these worldly pleasures!Its Good above in nothingness!No
lust !!And no love!Just pure power of being yourself to this world
rather than to somebody!
So it's hate eternal!You gotta understand it!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Eat Metal!

I've always been great fan of metal.I hail from a typical hindu-newar family where music is quit diversed and important part of life.my dad didn't listen to metal.but i can still say that metal is in my blood.All the time of my life whenever i'm happy or sad metal gives me a support to express myself but basically its when i'm sad the most.i'm a pessimist and might be that’s the reason why i love metal.,I'm not an easy goin an d happy guy.there are not many troubles though in life to suffer for.but whenever i listen to metal i get a freedom that i can't explain.i get power to do things that i can't imagine.As i'm a metal fan its obvious for me to find and read or see things on metal.I've read and watched many but the one that moved me was "Metal-A headbanger's Journey" and "
Global Metal".Both of these are from a guy called Sam Dunn.He's a metal head.
The first one is quiet good which explain roots of metal and how it came to existence.The only thing i dint like in the first one is that interview with mayhem frontman and the thing Tom Araya of Slayer said.The question asked to him was "Why do you kept the name of the song as God Hates Us All?" And Tom was like "It sounded so cool"
WTF.He wrote a song that has so much meaning and its just because its cool?Impossible.i can't forget Slayer in Angel Of Death and Reign in Blood and the wave it created all over.But what was the answer by the Bands frontman?Seriously it hurted me a lot and was never expected from Slayer.But every other thing sounded like Metal.It was a movie of 2005 and its quite old but i recently got to watch it.
Then I got to see "Global Metal" tonight.And it moved me a lot.But here are more constructive criticisms then its likeness.Don't know whether Sam would have even time to review a mail by me which i'm definately going to write soon.In Global Metal the documentry starts smooth with Wacken festival end.He vastly explores metal in India,China,Indonesia,Dubai,Saudi Arabia and many more Asian and Middle eastern countries.And he happens to make this movie because of the mails from the fans and where it all came from.So he was retracing tham all.And it all shows gigs and how metal came in to existence.
Being a strong metal listener and fan and hailing from Nepal I was thinking to give a shout out to him long back but is was a to do.So this movie came and i was like.........................They showed India so much where metal is still so Taboo but not Nepal?In Kathmandu its so easy to trace metal that every youngster can give you a venue where a concert is going on every now and then.we have underground record label and we worship underground music.Our metal culture is very strong and am proud to be one of them.Everyweek now or then we have a gig.I can give you all bunch full of those gigsJust type these all in Youtube and you'll see what all Nepalimetal means:-
Show no mercy
Metal Tremore
Classroom Rockers
Feast of Blood
Yeah all these are some of the gigs that moved me and are those which i remembered while writing these.There are many of those left.If wanted only a whole movie can be shot on Metal in Nepal.However Ktmrocks seems to be interested in it which is releasing its video on Metal On Nepal on Youtube on Ktmrocks Stube.
If you want more of Nepali Metal then go to :www.ktmrocks.com it will feed you all.
Hope Sam Dunn reconsiders it and rethinks it put up a small part of Nepal too in Global Arena.This is not only my voice,this is the voice of all the Nepali metalheads visiting each gigi on MPC or Ex. army club or other venues.Metal has a whole loads of things to do with Nepal.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Just a bunch of nothing!

Just a bunch of nothing!
(Don't curse me after reading this as a complete waste of time)
So it was like the need of the hour.With scares of dark rumours and the contineous pressure of being something(state of pressure for not being nothing) this time is absolutely disturbed.The chaos and disturbia reminds me of something old or its just a Deja Vu don't know.This time is definately turning out to be cocky with letting me to do just nothing when i wanted to something.This is insane hour.This was a time when i had te be sad for being happy.But still nothing was going that wrong.
There has to be some need of that hour for people to do some activity.Activity is risen by some activity only.You cannot do something just because you want do it.There has to be its need.If your're doing so you are certainly a fool outta nowhere.We cannot underestimate or overestimate a task or activity also.It may just go off or blast.You never no.This entire blog looks like a insane cry of nowhere but its not so!Its a silent revolution.Who understand are immortal by me (JK).
I am in an unexplain able state.The state of me is best described as a infinite loop.It works but for no use.
Time went by and it passed too but with out a fuss this time.It just went by and I myself was too busy to understand and figure out that my business is measured by time only.I even don't realised for so long that i had a online diary of myself.Was busy in nothing but also was busy!There were countless things happening in and around.But i'm going to just mention some happenings which really counted.
The trip-
The trip costed and wasted a lot.The Trip was to the capital of India.If I mention the happenings there, then this blog probably would go to other end.But the trip on train,the hike to Jaipur and the place we stayed,the food we ate on the road,the Delhi momos,the Nepali Party everything was awesome really memorable.The trip elongated from 22nd june to 6th of july.The pics are there on facebook.BTW the comeback was also really memorable and is explainable to some extent.After all tiredness we planed to come back by 6th.Our train was all set to leave by 6 in the evening.We reached the station on time.Hardly found our seat coz our tickets were on RAC(Reservation After Cancellation).We got the place and we sat.but as the night deepend I came to the cold truth that i din't hae the full seat so had to share my sit with the other guy.It was horrible.The very next day we got a single sit for all three of us.Then co-incidentially we meet a nepali who offered us a 2 tier ac sit for three tier.We exchanged happily but later got screwed when TT fined us.After all those hardings we reached our second home Bangalore.Feelz great to be back.
The Vacation
My time after my trip and back to Bangalore was a complete vacation time with actually nothing to do for some 10 -12 days.Complete nothing,browsing till 5 in morning and waking up by 4 in the day and then the movie till night.It was fun which created a lot of mess later.
The Rush Days
The rush days were back as the college started.With 5 subjects and all major and the major addition math it is really dificult this time.Java is strted which is really happening.
The Bike days
Got myself a new(2nd hand) Avtiva which is almost new after a very narrow deal.Then went on destination less roaming for many days.Its hard saving money for petrol.
The joy and sad days
Then suddenly when I was browsing on my friends E-90 at around 9 in the night we came across our result.Its pretty good this time with 80.76% tile.It was a happy time but some freinds make marks as issue and the marks only became the separator so felt sad at the same time.
The current days
Left a friend for home till airport amid swinflu scare was a blod step.Currently days are ticking very fast.With many procastnation like courses to join on Java and many othere pending worls from writing notes to studying to buying stuffs to servicing of bike.Life now is a rambling .......

Monday, June 15, 2009

Just felt like writing!

You are a wet blanket!whats the use?cum to truth and bear the reality.this is life.life ain't same any more.I'm living amidst a lot of chaos.sometimes brain goes on such thoughts.insane place,insane behavior,insane people,that is why you are hated everywhere,now i knew.
I'M nt here to understand your portfolio or histry ,why i'm here is to spend ma time learning which i thought was not gud at my place.And after all I had different dreams for myself not this.The truth is I never even imagined in my dreams that I would be here.This was not my destination.But this is what life is I think.Wrong people caught on wrong place.
I don know much things.And the truth is that I don't speak much about the things i don't know coz here its other way round.And in my life I never said that I know everything or am proud of that.If I was of This attitude............I'm not like that.I prefer less attention.And it's the truth.And not a bunch of people over my back.I don't wanna be felt or herd.I don't know the taste of wine and hardly I drink for taste coz i'm not tat thinker too.People they say that I should understand the taste of wine before drinking',wot was tat?A statement provoking your own retardness.I ain't great .your are!
But you are copycat!I ain't!Think what people think about you!Because we are surrounded by them!I can't tell further!But you should change if you want something in life!Don't get inspired by people too much!Its clueless person who does that!But am still a kid!Not highly developed thinking power yo think like you!!!!!!LOL!!!!!!!!!!!DAMNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Answer!

This blog was an answer to a blog i read long back!Read this blog before mine:-
http://nepaliketi.wordpress.com/2008/07/
The answer to this blog begins here:
Hail Patroitism.And you cannot blame your father for not being Obama or Bin Laden for whatever reasons they are popular.This is how you were born.This is the world of being and when it comes to survival even a prostitute has to proud of her profession.This is life.This is reality.After all its about living at last.As the survival of fittest.
If you cannot be proud of the ineptness of your world within,you yourself should be blamed for it 1000's of times.At least if you cannot praise then don't hate it.You don't have a reason to hate it.
If you think Gurkhas and Everest were the thing that made Nepal a Nepal then sista you have not seen Nepal or you couldn't understand Nepal and the feeling within.Don't be proud of fake thoughts.Who forces?But at least be proud of true retardedness.You cannot leave your brother or sister just because she's inborn lunatic.That is why handicapped marathon is their .You need to grow with him/her.You need to learn a lesson from that too.Whatever is coming within me ,I'm not able to type now.Feels like insane somewhere in heart.Its also not a mistake that Albert Einstein was not born in Nepal.If he would have he would have been popular as though similarly.Country name wouldn't have killed him.But I see Einsteinism in every student that passess IOE exams(Literally not Practically).I see Jimi Hendrix in every gig I visit,be it Mahendra Police Club or Ex-Army Club.But finally tired of all those fake showoff.What we are we all know and we definately know our roots.I cannot see Switzerland in Nepal and its the truth.
I live in India. I’m here for studies. I’m like those 1000's of Nepalese who comes to India for studies. Everyday I have to come through several situations in which I feel like grinding people. Be it the morning newspaper when it describes my land as” one of the poorest country in Asia" to the small talks with colleagues of this place like "This place will take the world in coming ten years”. I am not jealous of what you are or hate you for what you are I just want NO COMMENTS. Hail everything. You live in your own World and I’ll be Happy with my world so cold.


And today happens to be Nepali new year too!
Happy new year to all ya!
Yo barsale sabaima khusi lyaos!
Naya Barsa Ko Subhakamana!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

NOTHING 2 !!

Heart says fuck you to myself!Life is really difficult and the main difficulty again is the people around don't know how to judge every fucking body out here in this fucking hell.Why the fuck the world is so fucking difficult and why can't you be isolated.I'm no different man and i don't wanna be too.I just wanna be normal and stay normal.Doesn't want anyone while back home.
Back home its saturday , its holiday.And here it is working day!Tomorrow is break.So astonished by this too when there's nothing to be.Brain is not escaping this tranquil situation.Don't know which song to play and even which genre.Its a mixed emotion. Its like a happy song at the mourning.I missed everybody and everything and that is what I do most of the time these days.For some life is just dazed and confused kind of thing and for some its like always Romio and Juliet.I say them stop dreaming.
I don't want anybodies attention but its like antisocial.
Baffeled , dizzy , high , desperate ,sad , memories and people!I don't want to get either a compliment or a complaint . Be normal and make normal.And to those who thinks themselves as a saint or some kind of superman or superwoman , I don't have words to .....................................
All are like passive again.No mails ,No message and not even call.Heard they are busy.They were.Its very difficult to find a person of your interest in this world!Life is so complicated.Its more difficult then acting on a movie.People tend and pretend to be different. People behave diffrently. Only one "People" as a lover,poser,doper,assholes,seniors,juniors,boozers,pretenders,punks,wanna-be cobains,supermanz,toppers,saint and many more.One people and so many faces. Soits very difficult to understand them.Why you need understand them is because they interfere in our lives.Son don't interfere but you can help.Live life as no-one coz this is how you'll die one day.When to grow up.We need to.And again be normal,feel normal and do nothing.Be a king of yourself rather the slave of others.
LIFE IS ALL ABOUT NORMALITY!
The songs its banging my head now is:
Not the man I used to be. Cobain
This song is really addictive.
Listen at your own risk.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Comaback!

Life has always been Ramblings. Be it in the sense of being of no-one or some-one. And may be people treat this as a thing that completely creates no sense. Whatever you say or anybody says I am this! And I cannot change and I have not.
Its feels like decades that I’ve blogged last and through all these times I was inept.Coundn’t even know what all was going on within me !Travel to Nepal became a more havoc then pleasure (in many senses but many people will understand it wrongly).Things changed a lot and so do people.
The excitement started with the end of exam. It was the 1st time I was going to Nepal after I came here. Our 3rd semester exams got over by 10th of December.I was freaking happy that day but was a bit worried about the journey. I reached home by 17th since I stayed in Delhi at my fren’s place for few days.
Nepal now I have to say has been very dull and monotonous. Its my thought though. No environment to groove in. Days passed just like that sitting in home on dark hours with up to 16 hrs power cut a day which is getting extended to 18 hrs and eating home food. Every evening at dark hours we used to meet up at Sulav’s place have momo and stuffs listen to their music,talk about it and used to go out. Getting home was always late and the front gate used to get locked. Days passed in a flash. It was a sad time that I was leaving without meeting much people even aunt and hostel ko didi and even Navin solta.I couldn’t even meet those frens of mine which I promised.Thought life sucked that time. Came back to Bangalore and here we are. Everything is changed. Many things happened. The rush began. I shifted the apartment. Class started with rush. Then studies and tests. College home routine began. I had many blogs to put in But this space really needed a note why was I on such a long break without any information.

Long long way to go.Want to go Nepal every six months from now onwards but lets see. Don’t want to get shocked anymore.Many blogs will be rolling soon.Since here are much more complications with the connection too.Hope everything will be allright soon and the routine will be maintained.Sorry for such a long gap.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Nostalgia!

Its playing and playing and playing but the music remained like unheard.Its almost 8/9 months that the album is out.Yeah it may be unheard to most of you but am talking about "IN THY AMBIENCE OV MALEVOLENCE" the third album by Antim Grahan(ktm local metal band).I could not get hands on the original album but could get few songs of that album via youtube.Great works there.The promo of the album titled In Thy ambience Of malevolence I got it from kantipur fm site and the 2 other songs 300 and Infected II from youtube.Judging the whole album by only three songs would not be that justiciable but the entire hint of music can be guessed.Watched the pics of their latest dashain gig in ktmrocks site and missed that moment a lot.But definately Antim Grahan is shifting from it symphonic black metal genre to some other genre that i've not heard much.You can find the entire diffrence by listening Infected II only.Parash dai’s vocals are great and so did the symphonic keyboard but the beginning with the female vocals is not quite blended with the music.Ending is great too.But the song takes pick only at last.I guess they need more songs like Grey Mourning Kingdom and more albums like Tales From The Darkened Woods.If symphony will be removed from Antim Grahan then Antim Grahan will never remain like Antim Grahan.They will just be a a local band.
When I first wrote a blog titled "In Thy Ambience Ov Malevolence" late on march I thought that would be just a memory but it became more than that coz Antim Grahan themselves commented on that blog.I am having a widget(a simple online application which is regulated by other site) which records the visitors and how they came to my blog.I was very happy to see that most of the visitors came to my site through google search of "In Thy Ambience Ov Malevolence" or "Antim Grahan" and numerous of them were foreigners especially Denmark,Norway and Poland.So only Nepali guys are not headbanging listening to AG's I Guess and am very Happy about that.Yesirinai Nepali metal Faloos Fuloos and one day we'd be able to build our one genre called Pure Nepali Symphonic Metal.Hadn't heard long from Cruentus,Maya and other metallers these days.Vhumis are doing great listened there two new tracks named Bhariya and Shanta Mahatma.Their symphony and the new violin guy is great.May Nepali metal go ways this is what this Nepali heart says...Ktmrocks dashain theme is too great too.Can’t close this blog without praising there great pictures of the Dashain gig and the tag line which reads:
“KILL MORE GOATS EAT MORE MEAT DRINK MORE BEER…BE BLESSED”
Even if its passed but this is the way that Dashain should be celebrated. Happy Belated Dashain and Tihar
Current Play list:-
Its playing Grey Mourning Kingdom several times and Infected II
Lamb of god(All albums and songs)
And some more Nepali underground.
Nostalgia………………..
Wish I was there..

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pointlessness is not the theme of this blog.Definately its a long gap I take before I blog now.And

this time its the talks of money,life,music,Dashain,loneliness and the whim of myself getting lost somewhere.

Life was never money for me.But at some time I also came to realize that life is money sometimes.Life was never rich or poor.I always kept myself on the middle and never could get the thrill of both.Either top or down.So I became normal.But I can't disagree with the fact that I can live life in sainthood.I'm no more a saint.

Dashin 2008 in particular was a big comeback compared to previous Dashain's.Last Dashain I still remember the tensions within with no holidays and celebrations.I still remember myself blogging cursing the environment i was within.This time Dashain was in full spirit and so did the celebrations.Its was a good sunny day where we had a small get-together with tika talo.It was definately a very Nepali moment.Really a day full of nostalgia and thousands of memories to be carried.

Back home here now, LIFE has changed a lot.Life is no more college-home or friend-fun.It has become a bit serious now.Msn and ktm memories still haunts at midnight.But after all everybody says its life.Some are happy bein recruited for British Army,some for their I-pod nano curved,some for that girl,some for their grown strength and some are sad for nothing.Maybe the sad one will win at last coz at last he's to be sad for nothing.This is what life is actually.Life is not what we daily feel .Life is that lagging thing which we could not feel or we could not make others feel.Life is also not an love poem that always ends with tears or joy.Life is that which is in middle of that.Or maybe I can't just explain.

Music shifted a lot these days.Even there was a thrill that Death magnetic is released and its songs great but there remained a vacancy for something.Old classics remained always close to heart.Be it Khaseka tara by Albatross or be it Smoke on the water cover by Six feet under or savin me by Nickel back they rocked.And no more life songs and love songs coz it kills like cigarrette(don kno the spelling).No more Goo Goo Dolls......

If I could I would start this life over again and live it the way.And maybe everybody things in this way at some point of time.But these are all waste of time thinking to start over again and do this and that.Life is good how it is BTW and we can't make it nothing mattered and all contented.Life is liveable and happy for the king and begger.This is what thinking is.

This blog is dedicated to my those countable frens who still think life was hopeless and the past that made them make their life so.

There's a life within try to search it.And I know you all can be Happy.Its goes to all those who are here,back in country and to those abroadies who went there for good or bad but hope good.

Life is same and life was same.Its the only thinking that made the entire scenario changed now.

Something is definately changed.Or may be our thinking.This blog is the output of those motivations and sadness that I could feel with my very close friends nearby here,in home and abroad.To be more precise this was the output of the messages on Facebook n Orkut ,the instant chat on which I met my closest fren Bses of Bdesh,the outing after bunkin oops lab on Thursday and the talks we had and to be more and more precise the my way of thinking.Don't know why but be it India or Nepal or Bangladesh or States or UK or Australia or Germany or Denmark(and whereever i forgot to mention my frens are) sadness still haunts everybody.Life has always been a bitch.

This is how life has become till now.

Note:

(My current playlists include:-

300 cover by Antim grahan

In Love wid Suicide by Antim Grahan

Khase ka tara by Albatross

The day that never comes & Unforgiven III by Metallica

Aces High cover by Children Of Bodom

Smoke on the Water cover by Six Feet Under

Hey Lady by Led Zeppelin

Outside by Staind and Fred dust

Untitled(How could this happen to me) by Simple Plan

Show me How to LIVE by Audioslave)

You can imagine a scenario of my life now.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Thamel story.................................

May be for somebody or someelse, THAMEL is just a place with pashminas,marijuana,where kids beg with pride with a plastic and sniffing glue on it and can even enforce you to buy a piece of paper called newspaper,may be for somebody its just Himalayan Java or Bakery cafe and for somebody a place to flaunt like fire and ice or see pimps show their tricks or to somebody it may just be Tridevi Marg and the Thankas there..........but for me Thamel is the little Gallies within it and the small shops that made me realize my roots...........Thamel is also a small home for my friend who practices music daily on his small rented room hoping one day to create a music that he would be proud of..........Thamel for me is not just a passby or a way to Durbarmarg or Indrachowk or Ason.for me these places are my passby and Thamel is the ultimate destination.
Thamel is a small town located in the ktm valley which is much hyped due to tourist...As explained in thousand's of blogs Thamel is not the real Thamel...........Thamel is the place wherever I enter can feel the e sense of mix Hinduism and Buddhism and personal Nirvana.Thamel for me is about big big woolen hood ,two tailed caps,hemp purses ,handicrafts and the localities who are able to create a paradise within it.Search the things you would not find in Thamel.I bet you won't be able to find any.But from outside you'll see Thamel thats too empty......................
A walk on Thamel at Freezy nights .......................
I miss that a lottttttttttt.........
(will continue it.........)

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Bored and the Killer status updates!!!!!

Hey its same damn boring time the mid-day which the skool calls itself the lunch break!Life became so monotonous these days with all guys far far away even from college.Feels like college days are over.Feels like the starting of fun is ending.
Sometimes things turns out worst itself.We don't have to try for it.Days are getting hotter and hotter and no sweaters college coz its India.So is the life with my frens.Their life too getting affected by this sickness of hotness.Their life is getting hotter.I lie somewhere on my own cold world which can't be heated and I think its better cold and chilling.
Lifes seems to be affected by many traumas and cancers (not mine).I'm getting weaker coz its lunch hour and I don't wanna eat too.
Classes are going like long long boring movies in between which i sleep and get up.Had to sit quietly in class coz jus now the internal papers are checked and if you speak more you are going to get busted by the teacher.Definately exams are not good.
Don't think me psycho I'm changing the topic completely.If you are among those 1 million who use facebook and the status update is one feature which I always love to see among my friends.Some of the status updates that really haunts me are:-
I can't include all but those which caught ma attention:-
A wrote- growin weak day by day___lol__!!
B wrote-
is prayin n prayin n only prayin,,,,,.
C wrote-
is don't know wts going on his life.
D wrote-
is looking towards holidays after the mid week exams.
E wrote-
doesn't want 2 think of exams nw.
F wrote-thinks god is cruel to him.whenever he thinks to hangout with the frens,the god puts something else to do by him
G wrote-(best one)-is struggling .Yes ,he knows that it's the struggle that the butterfly does to come out from the cocoon that gives it beautiful wings with 1000s of eyes in it.
F wrote-.....................................................

So whenever you think of these small updates and compares it with the actual persons at times its funny at times its real and at times heartbreaking.(LOL LOL LOL)
But for me its a complete time pass now.I look at the stats and thinks that make me sometimes happy sometimes sad.The bell is over but still i'm writing .Sorry for eating your valuable time.CIAO all with next blog.This blog a time pass!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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