GOA!

It has been long thoughts begin to flow.Might be because the mind is not free or might be because the mind is too occupied.Most of the things passed away with time.I was not able to regularize my self in this state. Mind is not at a place now.Its the state in which its inept with too many things.Its numb this way.Might be its the way it shows puberty.But whatever its insane for the thrust of something that I've been searchin for,for long.

It came down with a surprise when the exams of mine (final sem) finally came suddenly.Nobody was ready coz everybodies mind was already fuked by the project we've to submit in the university and the college adding spices to it put restrictions.And right after that the buzz came.The time of my life infact ;p!
The dream me and my frens dreamt of some years on a small room on the streets of Delhi.It seems to be impossible for us but the day was there.I coudn't believe they were here so far away in Bangalore.
We headed coz we knew the journey was set someday.And the someday was that day.When arrived the first day Goa was much of just that sun,countable hppies , some booze and the sleep which was originated by the booze.Finally when we decided something has to be done to kill this hallucination of boredom , it was me and Nissan who took up our mobiles and googled for something thats morof a silent and psychedelic beach.We were not sure wheather to move to Palolem (80 km South Goa) or to Vagator (which was also far).The next day we had a strong determination that Palolem had the right content to us. The bus journey was ok but could have been better since some hippies opened up too much on a bus which was more of crowded by the locals of Goa.It wasn't the need of time.We felt that was Goa. Poor us.
Crossing several mountains and jungles there we came to Palolem (paradise).As we reached first day itself we found a cheap accomodation and to our surprise hell lot of foreigners and hippies on that beach.We thougt it was the right place and we were not wrong either.The beach cafe , the music , the sound of waves , neptune point, the low network chat wid ma swithart rite frm the beach, the making of ... on the open beach,stroling till 3 am, i getting afraid theres a quicksand,geting high at times, the shark BBQ , the millioniars daughter,Nissans WTF and French connection,Prajwal's dhikka,Moneesh's Chealsea shirt,Havana/round cube restro,Mukesh's ATM , Tavish's swiming lessons(he was bad though) , new shoe and the killer cheap breakfast.Goa is really a place to be . Somebody said it right "Goa is not a place , its a state of mind".
It has been our dream now to go to Trance party there in Goa to feel the beat of Goa vibes.Goa is amazing.Its a place to be.The return was also memorable as we got raided by cops and he was like "Fenny is Liquid bomb in Karnataka".I laugh at that moments now but however it was me there.
Finally we reached Bangalore.
It really dint got over.I could hear waves back home too. Had I gone insane?Ya kinda I gues!
Our minds were badly stuck on :-
Handlebars-Flobots(i can make nebody go to prison,jus because i dont like him)
Psycho Killer-Talking Heads(psycho killer ecstacy fafafafafafafa farr better Run run run run run run awayaaaaaaa)(as we heard which is completely wrong)(We grooved in this song for like weeks crazy)
Sideways-Citizen Cope (these feelings wont go away,they'b knocking me sideways)
We gt kicked.I could see these songs on ma dream.It took long to recover.
Goa rocks!
Goa is psychedelic man!

For da deserved!!

It's not the typical situation to be blogged.However i' ve blogged in manier situation like this too.It's a moment of complete transition from a boy to a man.Definately there are factors that makes me feel that I have to change.The things running under my brain is really a fuzz.It has whole lotta meanin meaning and am so dumb that am not able to figure it out proply.


Before February 2010 life was almost lost and badly affected with the feeling of being nothing and dark dark sadism.However now it has been reduced hugely.I don't think about myself as a crap these days.But am I really worth something??Or maybe it's the only who that you realize??But whatever really thank you for being there.Life would have been miserable as always if you weren't there.I don't mean to say that you were not there before,Of course you were but there was no consistency.Now it feels stronger ,a will to do something and achieve something someday.
It's definately an odd time I blog now.It's 8 here an am almost half awake but also felt like writing something for someone.Creates an eternal happiness that cannot be explained.So feels like life has started growing old with me.But this ageing doesn't always made me old.It revoked da feelings that I Neva had which I should have felt even earlier.Really can't explain how to thank you for all the happiness and love and support.Had really been optimist and is suceeding on things coz ov da support.
Neways jus wana say on this cool beezy morning that I Gina b there olways wteva situation be it.I have thought a lot ab
out it and it really makes me happy .Be there as the way you have been and really thank you for everything .


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HATE eternal!!

I herd those many times!damn!renunciation nd stufs I tried long back !
now I dunno what's creeping in!insanity in vanity?nothing helps!you ll
get nothing at last!not even eternal peace!just only straight death
for nothing!A martyr ov no country!so wats it's worth????
If it has a start it also had an end!if you're starting to be happy
then it has an end too!it's eternal suffering everywhere that matters
not happiness!It depends upon people to people how much they can
withstand the suffering!some lie unconscious in the battle helpless
some jus fight back as a warrior even though they know there's no
credit for it!All are helpless and is sick of all these helplessness !
Whatever life is to be lived or might be it is to be suffered?
The answer lies nowhere!So might be Lord Buddha also learnt at last
that there's no world without suffering and pain!There's even supreme
pain in happiness!That is called tears ov happiness!Do or die is not
the saying anymore it's die or die!However death is certain!These many
years also life showed so many aspects ov people that it's hard to evn
believe in dreams to be immortal!Who wants immortality with this
worldly suffering?May be you're lured bro I'm not at all!
I've grown in a lot of hatred,humiliations,devastations and falling
please I can't anymore!Fallen.....or Dragged......??????
Might be it's a trap that I've fallen into ov physical things and
worldly features like lust and love !Definately i was not this kind
before!Heard the world ruins everybody and might be me!Don't want this
me with all these worldly pleasures!Its Good above in nothingness!No
lust !!And no love!Just pure power of being yourself to this world
rather than to somebody!
So it's hate eternal!You gotta understand it!